I see lots of my friends & colleagues , earlier they were fun -loving friends .. now i see them always cribbing "uff, my little one is naughty", "ayo.. its long time since me and my hubby had a simple chat", " oops, the house is a mess always", "omg, office and home both are stressful", "hubby always escapes from responsibilities"...
Infact I have sort of crossed those cribbing stages ... how ? i never did intentionally to overcome those days.. but few best practices I can recall, which now helps us manage responsibilities without stress !
1. Take atleast 1 hour for you ! ONLY you ! Maybe a book, music time / dance / swimming / art class... Ensure, you maintain the hobby outside house so that the one hour, you are totally spending for you. So your mind remembers never to complain " I am sacrificing my entire life for family"
2. Talk to your child about office- friends, ask him / her about school incidents, dad also to contribute this chit chat time.. this will give a great feeling that not just you had a hectic day, but even a 3 yr old not getting a chance to answer mam's question first is a stress for the child.. you feel better when you share simple stuffs, but make sure you dont pass on negative energy..
3. Make sure, you show enough importance to your spouse like cooking his fav, complimenting as well.. Most women forget this part, thinking he is the most matured person and he loves when you take care of children ALWAYS.. NOT TRUE AT ALL... (applies to all) esp Indian men are brought up the way that they have to maintain "Head of the family" image, so they do not tell their little expectations to the lady of their love. We have to maintain a perfect balance between lover - wife - mom !!
4. Give kids - dad special time, where you are not there, I have seen families where dad is like a chief guest to his teenage kids who feel "What to do" when mom is not around at home and dad is busy with laptop.. from early days, make dad take the child for a ride / a walk / a video game.. ( when I am away for a day, my son dwells only on plain dosa as my hubby knows to make only dosa, but its OK, one day without vegetables is sad but dad and son time creates a special bonding when MOM don't apply rules )
5. Give children a break away from home.. like grandparents home, cousins place or at least his friend's place for a while... make sure it is safe but let your child learn to be independent for 2 to 3 days (once in 6 months) and make sure, you either focus on your career like 24 hours working, show all your passion without limits at office / you take a vacation with your spouse those 2 days.. its an experience guys... you will realise that your child is a separate individual who has his / her choice and fun in granny's place !!!
6. Never disturb your husband by calling him frequently when he is away from home to a different place for work ! C'mon !!! Let him have a nice break ! Thou we are better halves, we should respect and give privacy to the other half's personal space :-) Trust me ladies.. when you do not disturb them , they get into AUTO - CONTROL mode by default :)
7. Understand and accept the fact that your child is growing. One fine day, I should take the risk of sending my child alone to play area / to his friend's house. I should give him paint and brush , and leave him free to explore his creativity than scared of the walls.
8. Teach good habits to your child : We think children do not understand most of the things, but they are smarter, they also know the techniques how to get things done from you... they know that smile works out for mom, please works out with dad, tears work out in worst case.. So the challenge is "UPGRADE YOURSELF" be smart ! Show your child that you are a smart mom ... Strict when you have to be strict ! Loving Angel as always.. Kids understand !!!